Relationships

When people forge relationships they have certain rules that they implement either consciously or sub-consciously. I’ve come across a few rules from people I know and the most common one is don’t cheat. I would hope that that would be a rule in every relationship but apparently some people can live with a wandering spouse.

I am not saying I couldn’t forgive someone for cheating on me. I accept and understand that we are human and humans make mistakes. But to repeatedly commit such an act is beyond me.

I was having a conversation among friends last night and mentioned that a person we all knew was going through a rough time now with the passing of his mother-in-law. His wife is here for the funeral proceedings – she lives in the USA, while he makes life out here. It is not a secret that he has another woman out here who lives with him on a daily basis – except when the wife is around.

Posted proudly in his bedroom is also a nude picture of him and the matey (woman on the side) where he is playing with her nipple. Now funny enough I have to wonder about that picture… it is still hung up even though the wife is in town. I wonder if the wife has spent any time at his residence and perhaps that is the reason why it is still up on the wall… who knows.

In any event, due to circumstances beyond his control, he cannot return to the USA. So the only time when he and his wife get together is on one of her infrequent trips to Jamaica. Among the group, I was shocked to see how many persons were understanding of the fact that he needed someone out here and that the wife probably had someone in the States too!! Furthermore, they probably know about each other’s outsider and just accept it with an understanding that when they’re together they will be together like husband and wife and whilst apart they will get satisfied elsewhere.

Now I don’t know if I could subscribe to such a rule in my relationship. I would rather be divorced. Maybe that’s the immature side of me, but I just can’t deal with something like that. Surprisingly too, that someone in that conversation was actually someone whose number one conscious rule is also that cheating is unforgivable – yet he could understand the man’s life…? Go figure!

Another rule I have found in men is the hitting rule. One man I know says that if you hit him then and only then will he have to hit you back. This makes me wonder about those fortunate Hollywood stars who smack men across the face when they’ve said something cheeky. Another man I know says he won’t hit you back, but it could be the end of your relationship with him if you hit him – cause Lord knows he would be so pissed and bitch slap you in to the next century if you ever did that to him. Whoa…

I am trying to think of the rules I employ in my relationships. I guess I got homework and it also makes for another post.