I'm Baaack!

Well I have resurfaced. Las Vegas was indeed fabulous. I am thinking they say that everything is bigger in Texas so I can only imagine what that is like if Las Vegas is so GRAND! Everything is far!! I have to take a tram from my hotel (Luxor) to the neighboring hotel where the conference was hosted (Mandalay Bay) and then it was quite the hike to get to the conference centre.

Mandalay Bay has a special section called “The Hotel” and it really is THE Hotel. Plasma screens in every room. Top of the notch service. Maybe next time I am in Vegas I can spring for a night for US$500 and be treated well. LOL I think not! But it was nice to see how the other half lives.


At the Luxor where I stayed the hotel is actually in the shape of a pyramid. Great architecture! They had a Fear Factor episode there once where people had to slide down the side grabbing flags as one of their fearful challenges. Neat huh?


I think I had my first lesbian encounter with a woman hitting on me… literally! LOL On the night when we had our regional dinner (Caribbean & Latin America) at the Rum Jungle with a whole bunch of Spanish speaking persons! Imagine my coworker and I clinging to the one very bilingual person we met in that group. The Rum Jungle was nice though – LOTS of different kinds of rum even though I scoured the shelf and didn’t see any Jamaican Overproof. I tried their specialty drink with Butterscotch Rum… yum! Jungle Punch.


After dinner (seven courses with LOTS of meat – very Spanish inspired) the restaurant transforms in to a dance club. Scantily clad women dance on swings in the ceilings and levels above in glow-in-the-dark bikinis, etc. I took a seat after – ahem – dancing a bit, and this woman holds on to my shoulder while passing. So I took it was nothing. I looked at her when she did it and she said sorry and smiled. But after the second, third and fourth time of doing it and smiling and staring at me I got the hint and went to find some nice men to chill with. LOL

On my last day I really burnt out myself though. I decided to walk down the strip and probably catch a cab back. But then there was stuff on the other side of the road that I wanted to do so I braved it back by foot. This entire trip from the Luxor down to Caesars Palace is a 2 mile walk ONE WAY!


Imagine this… to cross the road you need to go up an escalator, across a overhead walkway and down another escalator. Plus, if the escalator wasn’t working you had to haul your @$$ up the stairs. Aye! And so I rushed back to my hotel to shower and prepare for the beach party, which I ended up being late for. Not to mention that my dogs were howling from the 4 mile trek and that does not include the detours off from the main road to see stuff. Oy!

So after the beach party I decided I was NOT going to leave without seeing the Bellagio waterfall at night! I glimpsed it in the day as a little side stop on my walk down the strip. But I could only imagine how magnificent it would have been at night. SO, being the masochist that I am (clearly there is no other explanation) I decided to go back out after the Beach Party.

I got the brilliant idea that I would take the MonoRail from the MGM Grand Hotel, which would stop at Ballys, which is just across from the Bellagio. At the time it seemed like a GREAT idea. Only to discover that the trek to get to the Monorail was at the opposite end of this major hotel which would terminate at the other end of Bally which means that the walk through the hotels themselves could have gotten me to the Bellagio in much shorter a journey had I just walked straight down the strip!

So anyway, I got there barely. I did my research and know for sure that there is a show every 15 minutes after 6pm until 12am. I got there a little before 10:45pm only to hear that the water show is experiencing technical difficulties. WHAT THE $%@#?!?!? I plopped my fat ass down on the sidewalk and said I am going to wait on this thing because I could not have tortured myself like that to end up with seeing nothing. I waited, 11pm came, then 11:15pm and then at 11:30pm after an almost 45 minute wait it began.


The water show was gorgeous. I filmed it but the video doesn’t do it much justice as seeing it. It’s amazing what hydro technicians (any such thing?) can do to coordinate such a wonderful movement and lighting of water!! They made up for the delay too cuz I saw about 4 different shows in the 30 minute period. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Even though my adventurous streak made me do all of this alone I wanted to share this moment with someone special. Ah well! I made the best of it.

I almost got a henna tattoo too. I think I was just too tired to decide on what pattern to get. I mean… what would I want to be looking at for the next 3 weeks. Such a hard decision. LOL

I had no intention of walking all the way back so I tried hailing a cab. Not like it is in Jamaica. LOL I finally caught up with a cab driver that was off duty on a break parked at a CVS I went in to get me some refreshment. I overpaid him (only way I was going to get going NOW) and he took me to my hotel. I didn’t care. I just needed to get to the Luxor to rest, pack and be back up at 4am.

Thank GOD for wake up calls. My flight was at 7am and even though we’re not far from the airport, getting through security is such a hassle – long lines, and of course, the walk through the airport is another feat. I was this close to asking for wheelchair assistance. I felt so pop down it wasn’t funny. But guess what? All of that wasn’t me being unfit – I was coming down with some flu/sinus infestation. Great, huh?

I made it back despite the pain. I slept all the way to Miami and only woke up for a sip of drink to ease my dry throat. Thank God in Denver the gates were beside each other. But after I got some walk I had another little trek through the Miami terminal. LOL It never rains but it pours! *smile*

So on my things to do list I didn’t do so badly.

• I did the Bellagio (barely)
• I went shopping at the Aladdin (not the Outlet Center like I wanted to though)
• I went to Caesars Palace


• Saw the Eiffel Tower


• Didn’t do an IMAX Theatre but not feeling too bad about that cuz they’re everywhere – there was even one in my hotel
• No Cyber Speedway
• Of course there was gambling – you couldn’t escape it, even at the airport terminal!

I made it. I am the better for it. And oh yeh… I learnt some good stuff at conference and made some good contacts. LOL That *was* the purpose of this trip after all! I enjoyed it. I would do it all over again. There was so much FOOD! We had a big breakfast, then there was lunch, a break with snacks and a huge dinner with tons of alcohol! Plus there were always beverages in between. I burnt off all the extra calories from the walking. LOL

Next year? Conference in Nashville TN. My fingers are crossed that I will get to go. If not then maybe some other time… Politics *smile*

Pictures will be posted soon and videos too! I am working on it… The ones above are borrowed goods for now. But I tried to make sure they were as close to what I saw as possible (except the arial view which I didn't see everything at that level). Anyway... you get my point.

Las Vegas

Okay so I might be out of commission for a few days and who can blame me? LAS VEGAS baby! Yes… I leave tomorrow afternoon for my long trek to this fabulous city.

I am getting a little excited now cuz I am starting to map out all the things I need to do! Also I have got to take TONS of pictures. I will post them eventually.

Oh yeh… I forgot to mention… this is work related. LOL I hope I can fit in a training session here or there.

JK I have made sure that all the things I want to do open late so I can accommodate them after “work.” But of course all work and no play… ain’t gonna happen!

Hehe So Anyway… I have been level headed about this trip until now! I looked at http://www.lasvegas.com/ and I got a bunch of ideas. Plus I had a few of my own based on stuff I have heard in passing.

So on my to do list:

• Bellagio
• Shopping – Especially at the Las Vegas Outlet Center where I hear they have good deals!
• Caesar’s Palace
• The Eiffel Tower
• IMAX Theatre
• Las Vegas Cyber Speedway
• Gambling (That’s EVERYWHERE!)

I don’t think I will have time to fit in much else.

My only fear now is that I won’t seem to anti-social wanting to do all these things! But heck I’ll just convince whomever I meet and chill with that these are trademark things to do. Otherwise GF be trekkin alone and having fun!

This is something I've always wanted to do. Not Las Vegas in particular... but a fun spot where my adventurous streak can run wild!

One thing I won’t do is get married! *grin* No Britney Spears flexes roun’ ‘ere!

Road Hogz

So I have been waiting on an Insurance settlement to come out of an incident that took place over 7 months ago. I swear that that day brought me the worst luck I have ever seen in the span of 20 minutes!

I had a job interview that afternoon and thank God the bad luck ran out cuz I ended up getting the job! But anyway… I digress. I got ready to leave my house when I went outside my windshield was busted! And I don’t mean a little crack. I mean a hell of an impact leaving shatter marks right across the whole damn thing. Okay then… let’s take this in stride. At least I still have a ride to get to my interview. So I went inside to use the bathroom (an almost instantaneous reaction after seeing the car), and proceeded along my merry way.

About 5 minutes in to the actual journey I had another run in (no pun intended). Making my way down a main road which branches eventually from one lane in to two lanes. I decided to take the outermost lane only to have this mad man from a reputable region-wide telecommunications company in a company vehicle slam in to the back of my vehicle. Okay… this is really not happening to me today.

After a second of disbelief I realize that this @$$ wipe that just hit me in the back of my car is driving away! So I was in pursuit of this runaway assailant when the stoplight caught him and he was at the front of the light. HIT AND FRIKKIN RUN! So I started chase and went to the front of the line to turn my car diagonally in front of his vehicle to get his attention.

As soon as I could have put the car in park, open the door and move to the front of my vehicle – a squad car approached the scene. Thank God cause no sooner than the police instructed us to move to the side and we got out to exchange particular did the culprit start to express his anger in a derogatory manner. He did get a warning from the police office to cease and desist but of course this was a bruised ego talking. The damage was not extensive but there was damage to my vehicle nonetheless and the best part – none to his!

After all of this I went to the interview and afterwards got a bite to eat before proceeding to the nearest police station where the incident took place, only upon my arrival to determine that the culprit had made it there before I did. Fine. Then the police man started telling me that Mr. Hit-n-Run is claiming that I was on my mobile phone! Yeh… and that made you hit me in the back to teach me a lesson? So the police asked me if my window was up or down – HELLO! Did you know what time this accident took place? MIDDAY! There is NO WAY that I would be dressed up in a black jacket going to an interview with my windows down to mess up my makeup and hair! Hmph…

Anyway, after much running up and down to get the necessary evaluations, police report, filing the claim, etc. This dude didn’t report the incident to his company and ultimately their insurance company. Great! Be difficult. So there was more waiting to get his driver’s license from the Tax Administration Department.

That car has since been sold. I did the repairs. Everything on that end I made sure to document so I could be fully reimbursed. I have since gotten another car and I went back to clear off some other insurance protocols at the office today only to be handed a paper which is said to have a retort to the police statement from the driver in some crab toe handwriting. I am to read it and make a comment in writing on the matter.

I have reproduced the document below and included my comments. I can’t say these things in my response, so I might as well vent them here. I have not changed it for grammar or spelling. And no, I am not just idle, but I need to include a typed copy of it in my response. Here it is…

Upon examination of the statement given by the police, the only information I can concur with is the direction the vehicles were travelling in and the description given of both vehicles involved in the accident. All other information provided in the statement is distorted. You mean the statement delivered by the unbiased officers of the law giving on the facts of the account sans emotions and padding is distorted? Are you calling the officers liars? If they got distorted information it must have been based off your account.

The statement has failed to recognize that a JUTC public passenger bus was parked at a bus stop facing South (the same direction in which both vehicles in question were travelling). In the same statement that you gave where this bus failed to materialize until SEVEN MONTHS LATER. Behind the bus there were some vehicles including the Toyota Corolla with the driver visibly utilizing a cellular telephone while driving. You were that close to see me using my Cellular phone through tinted, wound up windows? Ultra-bionic vision! I was to the right of the Toyota Corolla (in the other lane heading south) when without indicating her intent to switch lanes the driver of the Toyota Corolla, 1234 XY (censored), proceeded directly into my path which caused the stated collision. Despite the violent blowing of my vehicle’s horn, the driver did not stop but insisted on getting around the other vehicles and the bus. Now wait a minute… where the accident took place was where the road started to diverge in to two lanes… one after the other you pick a lane to go in. Who gave you the right of way coming from behind me? So you were overtaking but didn’t quite make it around me and therefore hit me in the back?

Subsequently, in order to avoid a pile up of traffic along the south bound carriageway (The road to hell is paved with good intentions), I proceeded a few metres down the road, after signaling to the driver of the Corolla that I was going to stop. LIES! You did no such thing you imbecile! After stopping a marked police vehicle recognized that there was a situation and proceeded to stop and find out what was happening. You mean when he saw my car sideways in front of your car at the front of the line by the intersection… okay, yes they could identify that as trouble!

Considering the fact that I was furious about the circumstances under which the accident took place and the fact that the driver of the Corolla was denying her actions (you didn’t give me a chance to open my mouth much less to deny), I began shouting and acting in what could be described as a boisterous manner (To say the least… you also forgot derogatory / abusive). It was then that I was given a verbal warning by the policeman (TWICE!).

Bravo! You get a B+ for language and grammar. How many times did someone have to coach you through this before you could produce this account SEVEN MONTHS after the incident took place?

I don’t even know where to start with this crap when generating my response. This is preposterous! I am so peeved! As if waiting to be reimbursed wasn’t punishment enough, after not reporting it to anyone but the police you want to throw a spoke in the wheels of motion?

I swear people should be given an IQ test as a part of their application for a Driver’s License.

Who understands men?

Saw this one and knew I just had to Blog it cuz it’s so frikkin true! Read on…

• The nice men are ugly.
• The handsome men are not nice.
• The handsome and nice men are gay.
• The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
• The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
• The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money, think we are only after their money.
• The handsome men without money are after our money.
• The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.
• The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.
• The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and, thank God, are heterosexual, are shy and do not NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!
• The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

Anyone who thinks they’ve got a handle on what men want and where the perfect ones are hiding, please holler at me and let me know!

What’s in a name?

Main Entry: Pathetic Phallusy
Pronunciation: puh-THET-ik FAL-uh-see
Function: Adjective

So you might be wondering why the name of my blog is Pathetic Phallusy. And before I get any cheeky suggestions as to my ignorance - I’d like to dispel such anxieties by proclaiming that there is a method to my madness.

I needed a unique phrase that would adequately define what this blog is about, yet would remain abstract enough to have the meaning evolve as this blog matures… That’s the textbook answer. *smilez*

Anyway, the word is a derivative of the literary term Pathetic Fallacy which is when we give “life” to inanimate objects i.e. make them seem human. One example I remember from all the way back in High School is – “The sea is pregnant.” That makes my mind imagine the large waves coming in with the tide. Anyway, I digress…

So I decided to make a pun of that term. (I am starting to sound like I am lecturing in Literature). Now, a pun is a mischievous way of confusing similarly sounding words to give a different meaning to the word. Notice how “Pathetic Fallacy” and “Pathetic Phallusy” sound alike? While “Phallusy” isn’t a real word, it is my creation from the word “Phallus” which means something that is penis-shaped (I should copyright it).

So to look a bit deeper at the situation, you know how people usually connote people who act stupid / silly / do senseless things and especially when what is done offends as pricks / dick-heads? Yep! Phallus-like.

Hehe! So to bring this argument full circle now… People who do stupid things are pathetic. LOL And I’m sure that I will be mentioning a lot of the stupid acts I come across on a daily basis as I do.

Enjoy!

Welcome

Welcome to my blog… And I officially have nothing to say already. JK

I have made several attempts to start a blog of my own but to very little avail. I keep needing to vent my frustrations and end up feeling like…

...Ya know! If I had a Blog I could just let it
all out there and get rid of the pent up energies…

...Let’s see how long I can keep this up for. Wish me luck!

I think they should have a vlog… voice blog. So I could just record my thoughts instead of having to type them down. That would be so much easier. Who knows… maybe it exists but I just haven’t poked my head out from under this rock enough to be aware of this possibly already stale innovation that I just thought about. Go figure!

And such is the life of a Mad Biracial Woman!