Man got 1,197 piercings in one day

ARLINGTON, Texas - A Texas body modification enthusiast said he broke a Guinness World Record by receiving 1,197 piercings in a single day. Jeremy Stroud said Arlington body modification artist Tyson Turk spent about five hours May 2 inserting 800 needles into his back, 300 in his right arm, 50 in his leg and about 20 in his left arm, the Fort Worth (Texas) Star-Telegram reported. Stroud said the needles were removed at the end of the day but they left scars all over his body. "They're so close together that they leave a line. It kind of looks like I had stitches from my wrist all the way up to my shoulder," he said. Stroud said two emergency medical technicians were on hand during the record attempt, as well as a witness and a photographer to support his bid to make it into the record book. He said the original plan was 2,000 piercings, but the pain from the needles eventually started to catch up to him. "I made it to 1,200 and my body was getting ready to shut down," he said. "I had no idea what I was getting into."

What is your sign?

• AQUARIUS You have an inventive mind and are a progressive thinker. You also lie a lot and are inclined to be careless and impractical, making the same mistakes over and over. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.
  
  PISCES You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA. You have some influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. Underneath it all you lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses a lot.
  
  ARIES You are the pioneer type and have strong leadership tendencies, but you regard others with contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and don't take well to advice. You are a Melvin.
  
  TAURUS You are down to earth and persistent. You are de-termined and can work like hell. Most people think that you are a pig headed not the best. You're probably a communist.
  
  
  GEMINI You are quick and intelligent - a thinker. People like you because you are bisexual, You are also a cheap bar steward, expecting everything for nothing. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.
  
  
  CANCER You are extremely sensitive by nature and very caring. You are a wimp, You are hopeless at making decisions and that is why you will always be on welfare and you will never be worth a lot.
  
  
  LEO Leo people are born leaders but most people think they are just pushy. Most Leo's are bullies. They are assholes who break down under honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo People are thieving bullies who kiss mirrors a lot.
  
  
  VIRGO You are the logical type and detest disorder. Nit-picking makes your friends sick. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgo's make good bus drivers and pimps.
  
  
  LIBRA Librans are lucky in employment and financial matters. You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male then you are probably queer. Most Libran woman are whores. All Librans die of V. D.
  
  
  SCORPIO You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will reach the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect Son of a bitch. Most Scorpio people are murdered.
  
  
  SAGITTARIUS You are optimistic and enthusiastic with a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. Most Sagitarians are drunks or pot heads. People laugh at you a lot because you are always messing things up.
  
  
  CAPRICORN you are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance, you should kill yourself.
  

Limited Stupidity?

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Dumb Warnings

These warnings are the consequences of numerous pointless lawsuits. In addition to the stupid warnings, you can also laugh at dumb bumper stickers, facts, criminal acts, and laws. Visit: DUMB WARNINGS

Having Money Helps

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."
-- Groucho Marx

Lego

"Whatever good things we build end up building us."
-- Jim Rohn (1930-), American entrepreneur, author, and motivational speaker.


LEGO creater Ole Kirk Christiansen's company originally sold and made wooden stepladders and ironing boards. In 1932, he started making wooden toys that were so popular he decided to sell them exclusively. The name LEGO means "play well" in Danish.

In 1949, LEGO acquired the design rights to a self-locking building block created by Kiddicraft in the U.K. Originally named Automatic Binding Bricks, there was a name change in 1953 to LEGO Bricks and the name LEGO is imprinted on all the bricks.

In the 1950s LEGO grew to include building sets, vehicles and assorted props to help create buildings and towns. A new patent in 1958 made the brick sturdier and flexible with a tube on the bottom of the LEGO brick.

Lego pieces of all varieties are a part of a universal system. Lego bricks from 1958 still interlock with those made in 2009, and Lego sets for young children are compatible with those made for teenagers.

The Lego Group's motto is "Only the best is good enough", a free translation of the Danish phrase Kun det bedste er godt nok. This motto was created by Ole Kirk to encourage his employees never to skimp on quality, a value he believed in strongly. The motto is still used within the company today.

Four billion LEGO mini-figures have been made since 1978. Four hundred billion bricks have been produced since 1958.

Life

Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we travel free and unhampered,
but a maze of passages,
through which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.”

A.J. Cronin

Whose Fault Is It...?

For My Favourite Architect

"A bold architectural statement turns a public building into a landmark, but it is in the details where the architect becomes the real storyteller."
-- Curtis W. Fentress (1947-), American architect, most recognized works are the Denver International Airport, Incheon International Airport in Seoul, Korea, and the Colorado Convention Center.

The History Of Casual Day

I wish we had a Jeans Day at work... but this certainly explains how management feels.

• Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
• Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
• Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
• Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
• Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
• Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the "home casual" versus "business casual" checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.
• Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.

What Your Favorite Movies Were Almost Called

Pretty Woman - was almost called "3000" (the amount of money paid for a week's worth of the hooker's "company").

1. Back to the Future - was almost called "Spaceman from Pluto" because the studio believed that no movie with the word "future" in the title had ever succeeded at the box office.


2. Tootsie - was almost called "Would I Lie to You?" because of several scripted rewrites.


3. Boys Don't Cry - was almost called "Take It Like a Man", but thanks to a Cure song on the soundtrack "Boys Don't Cry" came out a winner.


4. Help! - was almost called "Eight Arms to Hold You" because Help was already registered so they added an exclamation point.


5. The Grapes of Wrath - was almost called "Route 66" due to the use of the historic highway during filming.


6. Annie Hall - was almost called "Anhedonia" which is the scientific term for the inability to experience pleasure. That's Woody Allen for you.


7. Blazing Saddles - was almost called "Tex X" as a play on civil rights leader Malcolm X.

Always Be Her Baby

"Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing."
Toni Morrison (1931-), Nobel Prize-winning American author, editor, and professor.

Bizarre Laws: Miscellaneous Edition

• A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
• No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
• In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
• In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
• In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
• A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
• In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
• A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
• Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
• Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
• During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
• In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
• In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

Love Thy Enemies

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
--Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784)

Mom's Always Right

"My mom had a weekly court and we'd get tickets during the week. On Saturdays, my dad would be the judge and mom would be the prosecutor. We could state our case, but she was like MATLOCK - she always won!"
--MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE dad BRYAN CRANSTON recalls his own childhood.

Slinky Fun

"Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything, but it's still fun to watch them tumble down the stairs."

-- Unknown

Top 10 Movie Line Misquotes

Do you think you know movie quotes? Well check out the top ten most misquoted movie lines. Dang, number six is wrong?!
Check 'em out here.

1. "Luke, I am your father" – Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
2. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
3. "Do you feel lucky, punk?" – Dirty Harry (1971)
4. "Play it again, Sam" – Casablanca (1942)
5. "Hello, Clarice" – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
6. "Beam me up, Scotty" – Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
7. "Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn" – Gone With the Wind (1939)
8. "If you build it, they will come" – Field of Dreams (1989)
9. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto" – The Wizard of Oz (1939)
10. "Mrs Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?" – The Graduate (1967)

Awkward Family Photo

Jim was kind enough to remind everyone to shake well.

Complexities of Love

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.
-- Unknown

Bizarre Laws: Arizona Edition

• There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
• Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
• It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
• Hunting camels is prohibited.
• Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony (This goes back to the days of the Wild West).
• You may not have more than two dildos per household.
• Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.
• A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.
• It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

More Bizarre June Holidays

June 11 is National Hug Holiday and King Kamehameha Day
June 12 is Machine Day
June 13 is National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day
June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day
June 15 is Smile Power Day
June 16 is National Hollerin' Contest Day
June 17 is Watergate Day and Eat Your Vegetables Day
June 18 is International Panic Day
June 19 is World Sauntering Day
June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day

Stupidity Knows No Bounds

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Loving Yourself: The Cure

"Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century, it was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure."
--Thomas Szasz

Lost dog home after 8 years

AUSTIN, Texas - A Texas family said they have been reunited with their long-lost pet dog, but they do not know where the animal has been for the past eight years. Alison Murphy of Austin said she and her family offered a $500 reward for the return of their dog, Dancer, after the dog went missing eight years ago, but they received no word of the beloved pet until the Humane Society in New Braunfels, Texas, called last week, KVUE-TV, Austin, reported. The Humane Society told Murphy that a musician found the dog wandering the streets of New Braunfels, Texas, last week and brought it to the group's office, where workers used the dog's microchip to track down its owners. Murphy said the dog, which now answers to the name Fern, does not appear to have lived on the streets for very long. "Her teeth are in great shape," she said. "She just doesn't look like she's been on the streets for 11 years. Somebody's been taking care of her." "It's just wonderful to have her back," Murphy said. "She's older now and she's a little more mellow than she was, of course, as a younger dog but she still likes to go for walks first thing in the morn-ing. And she likes to cuddle at night. She's still the same old girl."

Children Do As You Do

Remember that children rely more on example than advice.
-- Anonymous

Draw Me Nearer

The Cross is the blazing fire at which the flame of our loveis kindled, and we have to get near enough for its sparks tofall on us.
-- J. Stott

Bizarre Laws: Florida Edition

• Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
• A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
• If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
• It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
• Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
• Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
• You may not fart in a public place after 6 PM on Thursdays.
• Oral sex is illegal. You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
• Horse theft is still punishable by hanging.

Someday We'll Meet Again

"Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning."
-- Mitch Albom (1958-Present), American best-selling author, journalist, screenwriter, playwright, radio and television broadcaster and musician.

Top 10 Dog Pet Peeves About Humans

• Yelling at me for barking. I am a dog


• Taking me for a walk then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


• Any trick balancing food on my nose.


• Yelling at me for rubbing myself on your carpet. Why did you buy carpet?


• Getting upset when I sniff your guests. Sorry but I haven't quite mastered the handshake thing yet.


• Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you are not home.


• Taking me to the vet for "The big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out everytime we go back.


• Doggie Sweaters.


• The sleight of hand, fake fetch throws. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

Chivalry *is* Dead

"Chivalry has changed from the days of Sir Walter Raleigh, but contrary to rumor, it hasn't died out altogether: A man will still lay his coat at the feet of a pretty girl; the difference is that nowadays it's intended to keep her back from getting dirty."
--Unknown

Aim Higher Than The Stars

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.”
-- Les Brown

Colour Your World

"Mere color, unspoiled by meaning, and unallied with definite form, can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways."
-- Oscar Wilde, Irish playwright, poet and author of numerous short stories and one novel.

Bizarre June Holidays

• June 1 is Dare Day
• June 2 is National Rocky Road Day
• June 3 is Repeat Day
• June 4 is Old Maid's Day
• June 5 is Festival Of Popular Delusions Day
• June 6 is Teacher's Day and National Applesauce Cake Day June
• 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
• June 8 is Name Your Poison Day
• June 9 is Donald Duck Day
• June 10 is National Yo-Yo Day