Words Evade Me

Usually writing is an outlet for me, but lately I just can’t put pen to paper – or finger to keyboard as the case may be. I think I need to isolate a few feelings before I can focus to write about it. In the mean time a good outlet is through music.

Read on…

Flaws And All - Beyonce
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need.

[Chorus]


I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you.

Samantha James - Rise

I sat here doing nothing much when I noticed my friend was listening to this song and I remembered the lyrics. At this moment I was tempted to reach out and mend a broken fence, but I stopped myself. Why waste time if my efforts go in vain?

You should believe me
And everything I choose to do
You should believe that
I’ll Always come back to you

Life is discovering
The love that we create
Life is a mystery
We need to embrace

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’ (Repeat 2x)

Open your mind and see
We have everything we need
Dream or reality
Fulfill its destiny

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

What time of day are you?

I am 3:15 p.m.
You are the moment when the last bell rings and school lets out for the day. You are resistant to schedules and obligations, so you love feeling like you're in control of your life again. You are the very moment when the second hand hits the 12, and the halls fill with noise and motion. Even if your after-school time is packed with activities, lessons, or a job, somehow, you just feel freer in the late afternoon than you do earlier in the day. Maybe it's all that blue sky and afternoon sunshine? Nah -- even on rainy days, 3:15 is always a beautiful time.

20% of the people who took this quiz got the same evaluation.

Bill Withers - Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.

But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.

Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebodyto lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have faith, you need to borrow.

For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when your not strong, and I'll be your friend.

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long till I'm gonna' need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a hand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.

I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me ( if you need a friend)

Call me (call me)

Be Our Brother's Keeper

The past few weeks have taught me many of life’s lessons. At this point they’re all jumbled in my head as I struggle to digest them. Bottom line there are these three ones about friends that have been reinforced – albeit they’re at the point of being cliché but they’re valid none the less.

• Be careful whom you trust.
• Only your friends can hurt you.
• In adversity – your true friends will shine.

I’ve never been someone with a lot of very close friends. This doesn’t mean I am a recluse - quite contrary I can be quite the social person but I have many more acquaintances than I do friends. I don’t trust easily, but when I trust you I give you the benefit of the doubt until you’ve done something to betray that trust and cause me to be suspicious.

I’ve been the victim of a lot of hurt in the past few years - from betrayal in romantic friendships to stab in the front kind of hurt and anguish. And it’s been a long and hard road learning to trust easily again. This has caused many issues and probably pushed away sincere people because I brought the baggage of my very bad past experiences along on each new journey.

These bad experiences have taught me a few things too. Just because someone doesn’t support you the way you expect him or her to, doesn’t mean that they didn’t want to support you – maybe they just don’t know how. Sometimes we set ourselves up for hurt based on the expectations we place on other people’s reaction. Just because people have hurt you, doesn’t mean you won’t turn the other cheek to them or to another person to be hurt all over again.

I’d dare say I’ve come a long way. I’ve forged new friendships. Learnt more of a balance in these relationships. I’m a little more discerning. However, I realize that you can never be 100% right about someone all the time because you never really know what they’re made up of on the inside. If we’re honest, sometimes some of the things we do at times surprises us much less to be able to figure out someone else’s actions. And so, to let someone in makes you vulnerable.

I don’t care how strong you think you are or how independent you might be – there comes a time in everyone’s life when they face challenges and need to reach out to someone. If it’s not family, then the other majority to choose from are your friends. After all, when the good times are abounding, you can share those with just about anyone. What counts is when the difficult times are upon, the people who stick them through with you – usually your true friends.

When we trust someone and let him or her in to our lives, we share sensitive information with them. But that’s not where the trust comes in – nope. The trust is required to know that they will do the right thing by you when they use this information. Most times we’re fooled in to thinking that that shared information will lie right between the two persons and never go further. But sometimes that too can be a problem if the person uses it back on you to cause harm.

So unless we’re going to live very lonely, secluded lives (which science has proven to shorten life span), we’re always vulnerable to someone. What is ironic is that although I know all the stuff I said above, every time someone hurts me in a different way – it feels like the first time. There should be no surprise. I should expect this. Then when does it still hurt so much? Therein lies the mystery.

As mortals there is only one thing we are guaranteed in life – death. And for anyone to hurt someone while they are dealing with the experience of death, I would dare say that that is the ultimate act of betrayal. As haughty as we think we are – death is a wake up call and around those circumstances require that we respect each other then the most.

At the end of the day, when someone trusts us to be their friend, it would be nice if we remembered to treat them the way we would want to be treated. So when we backstab and hurt them – remember karma, it’s real. What will be meted out to you won’t necessarily come from the person you did wrong, or in the same form of the wrong you did, or may not even happen directly to you.

Friendship isn’t a perfect thing because it directly involves people. Anything involving people isn’t perfect because there is always human error. Let’s just remember that it’s only humane to be our brother’s keeper.