Would if Could

She said – she would
If only – she could
I know – she shan't
Because really she can't
If only we could –
Then it changes to should –
Not have done
And
What have we done
And a chance
We are done
So maybe
It's best not done
But I still Dream of Would & Could

Birthday Cake

At least once in everyone’s life you should have Birthday cake when it isn’t anybody’s birthday that you know. There is just a sinful pleasure about doing this – almost taboo. And I don’t mean like any other specialty cake. Just a plain old cake in vanilla or chocolate – pick your poison, with icing.

You get extra points if it has an inscription on it. This part I think borders on being a religion. Each time you have a piece of this cake you think of someone you do not know and wish them well.

With that being said – Happy Birthday Collett!! I hope nothing too serious happened why you didn’t get your cake. But for the record, the peach colour you chose was pretty and it tasted delicious.

LOL

Psalm 107:27-28

I don’t usually get very religious on this blog but it’s another side to me that gets me through a few rough patches. I’ve been home sick for almost a week now and I have had a lot of time to think (uh-oh). Earlier I felt a little down about my situation and I threw myself to sleep. I woke up to find this email from a guy I met at church a very long time ago. It’s a poem “Wit’s End Corner.” I decided to look it up to see if there was a book (and there is one on Alzheimer's) of the same name and I found this link – it’s the same poem used as the ending of the sermon. It had some supplementary words of encouragement I thought I would share with you as all.

In Psalm 107 there is a wonderful verse, "At their wit's end they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out ..." Based on that verse a wonderful poem has been written:

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner,
Christian, with troubled brow?
Are you thinking of what is before you
And all you are bearing now?
Does all the world seem against you
And you in the battle alone?
Remember -- at Wit's End Corner
Is just where God's power is shown.

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner,
Your work before you spread
All lying begun, unfinished
And pressing on heart and head
Longing for strength to do it,
Stretching out trembling hands?
Remember -- at Wit's End Corner
The Burden-Bearer stands.

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner?
Then you're just in the very spot
To learn the wondrous resources
Of Him who faileth not;
No doubt to a brighter pathway
Your footsteps will soon be moved
But only at Wit's End Corner
Is the "God who is able" proved.

It is at Wit's End Corner, driven by the Spirit into the place where the pressure is so great that we have no other recourse but to cry out to God for help, that at last we begin to learn. It breaks upon our dull, slow minds that this help is not something intended for emergency situations only. This dependence on him is the principle upon which God expects us to meet every circumstance. It is thus we enter into rest.

Have you ever felt like you’ve reached to your wit’s end? I have hit it a few times. And now in retrospect, what felt so overwhelming? Somehow, things seem to work out huh? So even if you’re not religious, just remember that after you’ve reached wit’s end, there’s still tomorrow.

Do not get discouraged; it may be the last key in the bunch that opens the door.

--Stansifer

Allegory of the Cave

I love Philosophy. One of my favourite Greek philosophers is Plato. When I saw this Garfield strip I thought of his work in the “Allegory of the Cave.”

For my readers who aren’t familiar with the account, it tells of a situation where prisoners are held in a cave. They are bound and placed to sit only with their backs turned to the opening of the cavern. Their view is limited to the back wall and the only thing they can see are silhouettes of objects that pass in front of the opening where the faint light casts a shadow.

One of the prisoners escapes and decides to venture out in to the unknown. Once stepping through the entrance, he is blinded by the intensity of the light as his eyes have grown accustomed to the dimly lit environment. After his eyes have adjusted, he sees that there is a whole new world outside the cave – objects have more depth to them and they are in colour.

He decides to return to share his new experience with the others who are still bound. After the exposure to outside, he has difficulty seeing anything inside in the darkness, wanting more light. He describes all the wonderful things he has seen but they cannot relate. In fact, they start to wonder if he isn’t crazy and how leaving has damaged his sight. The prisoners are resolute about not being freed because they are comfortable with how things are.

I can relate to the freed prisoner. Ever feel like no one’s on your wavelength? Like you’re seeing things in a different dimension from everyone else? And when you give your account the reaction you get is like wide-eyed wonder, “O k a y t h e n …?” You’re always misunderstood?

Yeh… it sure does suck. But alas it’s not going to let me change who I am. A simple example is how some people can’t relate when I say that a shade of green has more yellow in it. Blue is blue. Yellow is yellow. Right? How you see some other colour in a colour?

I’m sensitive. Sometimes overly so and it’s because of how I think. I’ve been told many times that I “think too much” and people get in trouble when I think. Hmmm… Sorry? I don’t want to live my life with limited scope and not be able to have a deeper understanding of everything I’m interested in. And I don’t mean to be condescending either. I’m just different.

Right now I am just trying to make myself comfortable in the patch of weeds. Why can’t we all accept that the one thing we all have in common is that we’re different?

When life throws you lemons...

'The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change, and the REALIST adjusts his sails.'

-- Author unknown

People Kill People

At the risk of sounding cliché, do you ever feel lonely when you’re in a crowded room? Or how about no one’s tuned in to your wavelength? Maybe even like your life is like an oxymoron – sad and can’t find happiness; lonely yet you stay alone; misunderstood but continue to build that wall around yourself; being a social butterfly yet still an anthropophobe?

Somehow I thought that these emotions only plagued teenagers when their hormones are making them crazy. As an adult with the same experience, people start thinking there is a problem at hand and psychologists have monopolised on the opportunity and branded these “conditions” with all sorts of fancy names and charge you the big bucks to sit and listen.

You know how they say “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people,” it’s so true. Our mental stability hinges on the survival of the fittest concept. Think of this – Sam rapes Ann and she is traumatised for life – discovers she got pregnant as a result of the incident, becomes depressed and commits suicide. Sam was subjected to watching his own mother – Kate, and sister – Mary, beaten and raped by his father – Tim, when he was a child. Kate died as a result of the domestic violence, Tim was imprisoned for first-degree murder, and Sam and Mary sister grew up in a foster home as two of twelve children. Hereinafter Mary grows up, suffers from munchausen - making herself sick by taking medicine, in order to get the affection she lacked as a child, overdoses and dies alone in her apartment and is undiscovered for days.

Sounds like something out of a TV show but it’s real. It’s life. It’s how we are all victims of our own demise called life. The weak among us break like Sam and Mary. The outcome for some is rehabilitation by people who are given incentive to care rather than the sincerity that it takes. Others are just overlooked. Some even turn to religion to feel accepted. There you’re with a group of people who are taught to be hypocrites to each other, and even when that fails, to believe that there is this invisible being that loves you regardless. The vicious cycle continues.

Bottom line is that human beings are inherently selfish. We don’t like to admit the fact that underneath the developed speech and the “forward” thinking that therein still beats the heart of a vicious animal. If we can’t rise above the cannibalistic tendencies, no wonder our environment and other species suffer at our hands.

I’ve really come to hate the way people are. And I am extremely tired of turning the other cheek.

Diet Questions Answered

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

----------
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

----------
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

----------
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

----------
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

----------
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening!!!.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

----------
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

----------
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

----------
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

----------
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a Ride'

AND...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Wishlist

I have been bitten by the AutoBug again. I've been fighting the urge to play with my car and so for almost two years I have done nothing more than drive it and service it. I'm scared to start messing with it because I don't want bad karma to follow me - oh but wait - that's when you have sex in your car, nevermind. LOL But still... I would like to do some little projects on it. Here is my wish list and I will update it as this week goes on:

1. Skunk2 Catback Exhaust
2. Tein S-tech Lowering Springs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

One of my most favourite T-shirts has the character Grumpy from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" on it with a caption on it that says "I'm not Grumpy!"

This T-Shirt has gotten all kinds of responses varying from "You're more chunky" to "You're too pleasant to be Grumpy." Either way clothes like that is begging to become a conversational piece. Funny enough it has caused me to appreciate this joke below (I'm still laughing and I've read it like 5 times already. Maybe the shirt should read "Corny" instead).

I got rear-ended this morning on the way to work.

There we were pulled over alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car and . . .

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and then suddenly some little thing will strike you as the funniest thing in the world?

Well, I could NOT believe it . . . the guy was a DWARF!

He stormed up to my car, looked up at me, and said "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

I looked down at him and replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

And that's when the fight started.

Criticism

"Never criticize your lover. Their flaws prevent them from loving someone better than you."

-- Author Uncertain

Sexual Experience

"Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable."
---Conversations With God Book

The World Needs More Purple

Words Evade Me

Usually writing is an outlet for me, but lately I just can’t put pen to paper – or finger to keyboard as the case may be. I think I need to isolate a few feelings before I can focus to write about it. In the mean time a good outlet is through music.

Read on…

Flaws And All - Beyonce
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need.

[Chorus]


I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you.

Samantha James - Rise

I sat here doing nothing much when I noticed my friend was listening to this song and I remembered the lyrics. At this moment I was tempted to reach out and mend a broken fence, but I stopped myself. Why waste time if my efforts go in vain?

You should believe me
And everything I choose to do
You should believe that
I’ll Always come back to you

Life is discovering
The love that we create
Life is a mystery
We need to embrace

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’ (Repeat 2x)

Open your mind and see
We have everything we need
Dream or reality
Fulfill its destiny

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

What time of day are you?

I am 3:15 p.m.
You are the moment when the last bell rings and school lets out for the day. You are resistant to schedules and obligations, so you love feeling like you're in control of your life again. You are the very moment when the second hand hits the 12, and the halls fill with noise and motion. Even if your after-school time is packed with activities, lessons, or a job, somehow, you just feel freer in the late afternoon than you do earlier in the day. Maybe it's all that blue sky and afternoon sunshine? Nah -- even on rainy days, 3:15 is always a beautiful time.

20% of the people who took this quiz got the same evaluation.

Bill Withers - Lean On Me

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.

But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.

Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebodyto lean on.

Please swallow your pride, if have faith, you need to borrow.

For no one can fill those of your needs that you won't let show.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

Lean on me when your not strong, and I'll be your friend.

I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long till I'm gonna' need somebody to lean on.

You just call on me brother if you need a hand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand.

We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear that you can't carry.

I'm right up the road, I'll share your load if you just call me.

Call me ( if you need a friend)

Call me (call me)

Be Our Brother's Keeper

The past few weeks have taught me many of life’s lessons. At this point they’re all jumbled in my head as I struggle to digest them. Bottom line there are these three ones about friends that have been reinforced – albeit they’re at the point of being cliché but they’re valid none the less.

• Be careful whom you trust.
• Only your friends can hurt you.
• In adversity – your true friends will shine.

I’ve never been someone with a lot of very close friends. This doesn’t mean I am a recluse - quite contrary I can be quite the social person but I have many more acquaintances than I do friends. I don’t trust easily, but when I trust you I give you the benefit of the doubt until you’ve done something to betray that trust and cause me to be suspicious.

I’ve been the victim of a lot of hurt in the past few years - from betrayal in romantic friendships to stab in the front kind of hurt and anguish. And it’s been a long and hard road learning to trust easily again. This has caused many issues and probably pushed away sincere people because I brought the baggage of my very bad past experiences along on each new journey.

These bad experiences have taught me a few things too. Just because someone doesn’t support you the way you expect him or her to, doesn’t mean that they didn’t want to support you – maybe they just don’t know how. Sometimes we set ourselves up for hurt based on the expectations we place on other people’s reaction. Just because people have hurt you, doesn’t mean you won’t turn the other cheek to them or to another person to be hurt all over again.

I’d dare say I’ve come a long way. I’ve forged new friendships. Learnt more of a balance in these relationships. I’m a little more discerning. However, I realize that you can never be 100% right about someone all the time because you never really know what they’re made up of on the inside. If we’re honest, sometimes some of the things we do at times surprises us much less to be able to figure out someone else’s actions. And so, to let someone in makes you vulnerable.

I don’t care how strong you think you are or how independent you might be – there comes a time in everyone’s life when they face challenges and need to reach out to someone. If it’s not family, then the other majority to choose from are your friends. After all, when the good times are abounding, you can share those with just about anyone. What counts is when the difficult times are upon, the people who stick them through with you – usually your true friends.

When we trust someone and let him or her in to our lives, we share sensitive information with them. But that’s not where the trust comes in – nope. The trust is required to know that they will do the right thing by you when they use this information. Most times we’re fooled in to thinking that that shared information will lie right between the two persons and never go further. But sometimes that too can be a problem if the person uses it back on you to cause harm.

So unless we’re going to live very lonely, secluded lives (which science has proven to shorten life span), we’re always vulnerable to someone. What is ironic is that although I know all the stuff I said above, every time someone hurts me in a different way – it feels like the first time. There should be no surprise. I should expect this. Then when does it still hurt so much? Therein lies the mystery.

As mortals there is only one thing we are guaranteed in life – death. And for anyone to hurt someone while they are dealing with the experience of death, I would dare say that that is the ultimate act of betrayal. As haughty as we think we are – death is a wake up call and around those circumstances require that we respect each other then the most.

At the end of the day, when someone trusts us to be their friend, it would be nice if we remembered to treat them the way we would want to be treated. So when we backstab and hurt them – remember karma, it’s real. What will be meted out to you won’t necessarily come from the person you did wrong, or in the same form of the wrong you did, or may not even happen directly to you.

Friendship isn’t a perfect thing because it directly involves people. Anything involving people isn’t perfect because there is always human error. Let’s just remember that it’s only humane to be our brother’s keeper.

I'm not fat... just smarter!

I hate cockroaches

I hate cockroaches.
I hate cockroaches with a passion.
They smell. They’re nasty. They look gross. And they shit everywhere.
I HATE COCKROACHES!!

Living in the tropics affords you the dismay of becoming friendly with a few more critters than you would like. Our houses are open for the most part because most of us average people cannot afford central air conditioning and we can’t lock up the house to bake to death in the blistering heat.

This allows for cockroaches to saunter in. Nasty motherf@$%&ers!!

So there is this roach that decides to take residency in my bathroom. She only comes out at night… I assume this because when I am here on a weekend I don’t see her during the day. I was hoping that she would just live out her lifespan and die soon. As much as I don’t like cockroaches… I don’t like killing them either to see what sh!t they have left inside splatter everywhere. YUCK!

So back to this bitch. Last night I came home to see her perched on my soap dish and nibbling away at my soap. Oh no… that’s it!! This bitch has got to go now! But based on previous more passive attempts, she has outsmarted me and regretfully got away. This morning… about 10 minutes ago I saunter in the bathroom to empty my bladder when lo and behold on the floor is this stupid mothalova! This means war…

I realized that I had to be strategic. This had to be as painless for me as possible and as painful for her as ever. I peed first. This could take a while to kill her so I wanted to be free from any discomforts. After all this while the bitch still sits there looking at me endearingly. So washed my hands, went to my bedroom to pick my weapon of destruction.

I figured I needed something that had no grooves under the bottom and was heavy enough itself to exert the force. I found the perfect shoe. I go back to the bathroom after all this while… oh she was begging for it. Secretly a small part of me wished she would just run away and didn’t really have to do this. But obviously it was time to live up to my fears.

Upon close inspection, I discovered that she was perched so close to the door that to get a good direct hit, I would need to move the door and then whack her. So I decided to push the door with my left hand and crush her with the shoe in my right in one swift movement.

WHAM!

I managed to get the bottom half of her and she is on her back (stupid bitch) rolling all around and sh!tting. Gross. I am successful!

So I cleaned up with some wipes. Threw her in the toilet and laughed all the way. I watched her and she floated around, got on top of the tissue and just when she thought she was safe… *flush* Die bitch! I laughed all the way down as I watched her descend in to roach heaven. (I decided it must be roach heaven because those nasty creatures eat turd!!!)

Victory was mine. I just hope there wasn’t a whole family in there yet cause I don’t know how much more of this I can do. There needs to be an easier way of population control. Yuck man! I have gone through GREAT pains to ensure there are no roaches lingering around my immediate area only to… cho… you heard that story already. Cho!!

Enough is enough. I understand survival of the fittest now a little better. AND how anger can make you do things you never dreamt of doing.

After all that adrenalin… I can’t sleep.
I HATE those nasty bitches!!

The Notebook

I watched a movie last night called "The Notebook." The synopsis of it all is this: It's a love story of a summer romance between a wealthy family's daughter (Allie) and a mill worker (Noah). They fall madly in love that summer. He taught her how to enjoy the simple things in life. She grew up learning how to please people and not doing what she really wanted. What does she do for herself?

Young Allie: Painting.

Young Noah: What?

Young Allie: You asked me, what I do for me...

Young Noah: What now?

Young Allie: I love to paint.

Young Noah: Really?

Young Allie: Mmm-hmm. Most of the time I have all these thoughts bouncin' around in my head... but with a brush in my hand, the world just gets kinda quiet.

One night he took her to a really dilapidated house and told her all the things he wanted to do to it for them to live in. She asked for 2 things - that it be white with blue shutters and that it have a painting room facing the creek. They made love for the first time there.

Her parents sent the police out to look for her that night. They disapproved of the relationship and tried to convince Allie it wasn't a good idea. Noah was waiting in the house and heard all the hurtful things her parents said about him. Allie even told her mother (Anne) that the way she looks at Noah is very different from the way her mother looks at her father - there isn't that much love in her mother's eyes for her father, that is how she Allie knows that she loves Noah and it's real.

Anne: She is out foolin' around with that boy until two o'clock in the morning and it has got to stop! I didn't spend seventeen years of my life raising a daughter and giving her EVERYTHING, so she could throw it away on a summer romance!

Young Allie: [Screaming] DADDY!

Anne: She will wind up with her heart broken or pregnant! Now he's a nice boy, but he's...

Young Allie: He's WHAT? He is what? Tell me!

Anne: He is trash! Trash! Trash! Not for you!

That very night her family decided to move away the very next day. Heartbroken Noah left the house and he and Allie had an argument - he decided to make it easy and just break it off.

Young Noah: We can just finish out the summer and see what happens then.

Young Allie: Please don't do this, you don't mean it. Oh why wait until the summer ends? Why don't you do it right now? [pushes Noah against car]

Young Allie: Huh? C'mon. Do it! Do it! [repeatedly pushes Noah, starts hitting Noah, Noah starts hitting himself]

Young Allie: You know what? I'm gonna do it! It's over. Okay? it's over.

Young Noah: [opens his arms for a hug] Come here.

Young Allie: Don't touch me! I hate you! I hate you!

Young Noah: OK, I'm going.

Young Allie: Why don't you just go then? [pushes Noah in the car]

Young Allie: Get out! Leave! [kicks Noah's car]

Young Allie: Go!... No, no, just wait a minute, we're not really breaking up are we? Come on. This is just a fight we're having and tomorrow will be like it never happend right? [Noah drives away]

She's a bit of a drama queen.

Allie and her family leave Seabrook the next day back to their home in NYC. Noah wrote to Allie everyday for a year professing his feelings. Her mother intercepted the letters and she never saw them. He decided to move on after a year and he joined the army when World War II began. After the war, "he got this notion into his head that if he restore the old house where they had come that night, Allie would find a way to go back to him... " White house with blue shutters.

Allie waited 7 years for him. After that time she got engaged to a wealthy cotton broker - Lon, which of course her parents agreed to. While Allie was trying on her wedding gown she sees a picture of Noah and his home in the newspaper - she faints. She decides to return to Seabrook and see Noah before her wedding.

This was where the contrast in her relationship with Noah and Lon struck me the most. She used to run everywhere literally with a pep in her step when she was with Noah. She didn't do that with Lon. The simple things she and Noah did together made her happy - rowing in the lake, picnics, feeding the ducks, painting, enjoying each other's company, even just laughing together. The life in NYC, albeit exciting, still left her yearning. The makeup sex was just...

Young Noah: You're gonna kill me woman! I need sleep, I need food, to regain my strength!

She just disappeared from her NY life in Seabrook. Her mother came there to get her. They had a little heart to heart talk and her mother told her of her own story as a young girl. Turns out the mother had a similar story - she fell in love with a miner and had to choose between being with Allie's dad and the miner. You could see the regret in her mother's eyes.

Anne: 'Cause I might know you a little better than you think. And I don't want you waking up one morning thinking if you'd known everything you might have done something different.

Allie's mom gave her all 365 letters. Allie went in to tell Noah she had to leave to go see her fiance to make a decision. Their exchange...

Young Noah: It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.

Young Allie: What's that supposed to mean?

Young Noah: [yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!

Young Allie: You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.

Young Noah: You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.

Young Allie: You arrogant son of a bitch.

Young Noah: Would you just stay with me?

Young Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'

Young Noah: Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.

Young Allie: So what?

Young Noah: So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.

Allie left the house in tears. On her way to the hotel, Allie pulls over to read the letters in tears. She goes to see her fiance to work things out. Allie has to choose between her soul mate and class order.

Young Allie: When I'm with Noah I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different.

Lon: Allie, it's normal not to forget your first love but I want you for myself. I don't want to convince my fiancée that she should be with me.

Young Allie: You don't have to. I already know I should be with you.

The film goes many years later, in a nursing home Duke (Noah) tells this story from a faded notebook to Allie who has Alzheimer's. Allie asks Duke who Allie chose. She realizes the answer herself, and the scene, briefly, goes again to years earlier, where Allie goes back to Noah again, and they both embrace in reunion. Allie suddenly remembers her past and she and Noah joyfully spend a brief intimate time together.

Before her dementia intensified, Allie wrote the love story of her and Noah down in a notebook. She gave it to him with instructions to read it to her on days she couldn't remember, promising that her memory would come back as Noah read her their love story. Though her memory has faded, his words give her the chance to relive her turbulent youth and the unforgettable love they shared.

Their children want him to leave their mother in the home and they will take turns visiting her so that they can enjoy life with their dad. He declines.

Duke: That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is.

The doctors thought that him telling her this story wouldn't bring back her memories. She doesn't even remember that he is her husband. But he tried everyday. At the end of him reading from this book, she gets a 4 minute memory breakthrough and they enjoy their love just holding each other until she snaps out of it and gets back in to the state having no recollection of anything or anyone around her.

He has a third heart attack after the incident with Allie, the strain proving too much for a man with an already weakened heart. He survives. Bue as soon as he gets out of the hospital he is back in the home. He goes to her room to visit with her. She sees him. She tells him she misses him. She remembers him.

Allie: Do you think our love, can take us away together?

Duke: I think our love can do anything we want it to.

Allie: I love you.

Duke: I love you, Allie.

Allie: Good night.

Duke: Good night. I'll be seeing you.

They sleept away together. They died together.

Duke: They didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday...

Young Noah: [Allie and Noah are fighting] Don't push me! [Allie pushes Noah anyway]

Duke: ...But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day."

That's real love.