Christian the Lion

The Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped outof a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on hisbrakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almostruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxidriver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, andfull of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbagetrucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morningwith regrets, so....."Love the people who treat you right. Pray for theones who don't."

Linguistics

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn

Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
12. You should not confuse your career with your life.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor, is not a nice person.
14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
16. Your true friends love you, anyway.
17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Today's Reflection - Aug 9, 2008

Words -- so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them.
--Nathaniel Hawthorne

Would if Could

She said – she would
If only – she could
I know – she shan't
Because really she can't
If only we could –
Then it changes to should –
Not have done
And
What have we done
And a chance
We are done
So maybe
It's best not done
But I still Dream of Would & Could

Birthday Cake

At least once in everyone’s life you should have Birthday cake when it isn’t anybody’s birthday that you know. There is just a sinful pleasure about doing this – almost taboo. And I don’t mean like any other specialty cake. Just a plain old cake in vanilla or chocolate – pick your poison, with icing.

You get extra points if it has an inscription on it. This part I think borders on being a religion. Each time you have a piece of this cake you think of someone you do not know and wish them well.

With that being said – Happy Birthday Collett!! I hope nothing too serious happened why you didn’t get your cake. But for the record, the peach colour you chose was pretty and it tasted delicious.

LOL

Psalm 107:27-28

I don’t usually get very religious on this blog but it’s another side to me that gets me through a few rough patches. I’ve been home sick for almost a week now and I have had a lot of time to think (uh-oh). Earlier I felt a little down about my situation and I threw myself to sleep. I woke up to find this email from a guy I met at church a very long time ago. It’s a poem “Wit’s End Corner.” I decided to look it up to see if there was a book (and there is one on Alzheimer's) of the same name and I found this link – it’s the same poem used as the ending of the sermon. It had some supplementary words of encouragement I thought I would share with you as all.

In Psalm 107 there is a wonderful verse, "At their wit's end they cry unto the Lord in their trouble, and he bringeth them out ..." Based on that verse a wonderful poem has been written:

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner,
Christian, with troubled brow?
Are you thinking of what is before you
And all you are bearing now?
Does all the world seem against you
And you in the battle alone?
Remember -- at Wit's End Corner
Is just where God's power is shown.

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner,
Your work before you spread
All lying begun, unfinished
And pressing on heart and head
Longing for strength to do it,
Stretching out trembling hands?
Remember -- at Wit's End Corner
The Burden-Bearer stands.

Are you standing at Wit's End Corner?
Then you're just in the very spot
To learn the wondrous resources
Of Him who faileth not;
No doubt to a brighter pathway
Your footsteps will soon be moved
But only at Wit's End Corner
Is the "God who is able" proved.

It is at Wit's End Corner, driven by the Spirit into the place where the pressure is so great that we have no other recourse but to cry out to God for help, that at last we begin to learn. It breaks upon our dull, slow minds that this help is not something intended for emergency situations only. This dependence on him is the principle upon which God expects us to meet every circumstance. It is thus we enter into rest.

Have you ever felt like you’ve reached to your wit’s end? I have hit it a few times. And now in retrospect, what felt so overwhelming? Somehow, things seem to work out huh? So even if you’re not religious, just remember that after you’ve reached wit’s end, there’s still tomorrow.

Do not get discouraged; it may be the last key in the bunch that opens the door.

--Stansifer

Allegory of the Cave

I love Philosophy. One of my favourite Greek philosophers is Plato. When I saw this Garfield strip I thought of his work in the “Allegory of the Cave.”

For my readers who aren’t familiar with the account, it tells of a situation where prisoners are held in a cave. They are bound and placed to sit only with their backs turned to the opening of the cavern. Their view is limited to the back wall and the only thing they can see are silhouettes of objects that pass in front of the opening where the faint light casts a shadow.

One of the prisoners escapes and decides to venture out in to the unknown. Once stepping through the entrance, he is blinded by the intensity of the light as his eyes have grown accustomed to the dimly lit environment. After his eyes have adjusted, he sees that there is a whole new world outside the cave – objects have more depth to them and they are in colour.

He decides to return to share his new experience with the others who are still bound. After the exposure to outside, he has difficulty seeing anything inside in the darkness, wanting more light. He describes all the wonderful things he has seen but they cannot relate. In fact, they start to wonder if he isn’t crazy and how leaving has damaged his sight. The prisoners are resolute about not being freed because they are comfortable with how things are.

I can relate to the freed prisoner. Ever feel like no one’s on your wavelength? Like you’re seeing things in a different dimension from everyone else? And when you give your account the reaction you get is like wide-eyed wonder, “O k a y t h e n …?” You’re always misunderstood?

Yeh… it sure does suck. But alas it’s not going to let me change who I am. A simple example is how some people can’t relate when I say that a shade of green has more yellow in it. Blue is blue. Yellow is yellow. Right? How you see some other colour in a colour?

I’m sensitive. Sometimes overly so and it’s because of how I think. I’ve been told many times that I “think too much” and people get in trouble when I think. Hmmm… Sorry? I don’t want to live my life with limited scope and not be able to have a deeper understanding of everything I’m interested in. And I don’t mean to be condescending either. I’m just different.

Right now I am just trying to make myself comfortable in the patch of weeds. Why can’t we all accept that the one thing we all have in common is that we’re different?

When life throws you lemons...

'The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change, and the REALIST adjusts his sails.'

-- Author unknown

People Kill People

At the risk of sounding cliché, do you ever feel lonely when you’re in a crowded room? Or how about no one’s tuned in to your wavelength? Maybe even like your life is like an oxymoron – sad and can’t find happiness; lonely yet you stay alone; misunderstood but continue to build that wall around yourself; being a social butterfly yet still an anthropophobe?

Somehow I thought that these emotions only plagued teenagers when their hormones are making them crazy. As an adult with the same experience, people start thinking there is a problem at hand and psychologists have monopolised on the opportunity and branded these “conditions” with all sorts of fancy names and charge you the big bucks to sit and listen.

You know how they say “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people,” it’s so true. Our mental stability hinges on the survival of the fittest concept. Think of this – Sam rapes Ann and she is traumatised for life – discovers she got pregnant as a result of the incident, becomes depressed and commits suicide. Sam was subjected to watching his own mother – Kate, and sister – Mary, beaten and raped by his father – Tim, when he was a child. Kate died as a result of the domestic violence, Tim was imprisoned for first-degree murder, and Sam and Mary sister grew up in a foster home as two of twelve children. Hereinafter Mary grows up, suffers from munchausen - making herself sick by taking medicine, in order to get the affection she lacked as a child, overdoses and dies alone in her apartment and is undiscovered for days.

Sounds like something out of a TV show but it’s real. It’s life. It’s how we are all victims of our own demise called life. The weak among us break like Sam and Mary. The outcome for some is rehabilitation by people who are given incentive to care rather than the sincerity that it takes. Others are just overlooked. Some even turn to religion to feel accepted. There you’re with a group of people who are taught to be hypocrites to each other, and even when that fails, to believe that there is this invisible being that loves you regardless. The vicious cycle continues.

Bottom line is that human beings are inherently selfish. We don’t like to admit the fact that underneath the developed speech and the “forward” thinking that therein still beats the heart of a vicious animal. If we can’t rise above the cannibalistic tendencies, no wonder our environment and other species suffer at our hands.

I’ve really come to hate the way people are. And I am extremely tired of turning the other cheek.

Diet Questions Answered

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening!!!.... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a Ride'

AND...

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Wishlist

I have been bitten by the AutoBug again. I've been fighting the urge to play with my car and so for almost two years I have done nothing more than drive it and service it. I'm scared to start messing with it because I don't want bad karma to follow me - oh but wait - that's when you have sex in your car, nevermind. LOL But still... I would like to do some little projects on it. Here is my wish list and I will update it as this week goes on:

1. Skunk2 Catback Exhaust
2. Tein S-tech Lowering Springs

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

One of my most favourite T-shirts has the character Grumpy from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" on it with a caption on it that says "I'm not Grumpy!"

This T-Shirt has gotten all kinds of responses varying from "You're more chunky" to "You're too pleasant to be Grumpy." Either way clothes like that is begging to become a conversational piece. Funny enough it has caused me to appreciate this joke below (I'm still laughing and I've read it like 5 times already. Maybe the shirt should read "Corny" instead).

I got rear-ended this morning on the way to work.

There we were pulled over alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car and . . .

You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and then suddenly some little thing will strike you as the funniest thing in the world?

Well, I could NOT believe it . . . the guy was a DWARF!

He stormed up to my car, looked up at me, and said "I AM NOT HAPPY!"

I looked down at him and replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

And that's when the fight started.

Criticism

"Never criticize your lover. Their flaws prevent them from loving someone better than you."

-- Author Uncertain

Sexual Experience

"Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable."
---Conversations With God Book

The World Needs More Purple

Words Evade Me

Usually writing is an outlet for me, but lately I just can’t put pen to paper – or finger to keyboard as the case may be. I think I need to isolate a few feelings before I can focus to write about it. In the mean time a good outlet is through music.

Read on…

Flaws And All - Beyonce
I'm a train wreck in the morning
I'm a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren't even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day.

[Chorus]
I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that's exactly what I need.

[Chorus]


I know I'll see you again whether far or soon. But I need you to know that I care and I miss you.

Samantha James - Rise

I sat here doing nothing much when I noticed my friend was listening to this song and I remembered the lyrics. At this moment I was tempted to reach out and mend a broken fence, but I stopped myself. Why waste time if my efforts go in vain?

You should believe me
And everything I choose to do
You should believe that
I’ll Always come back to you

Life is discovering
The love that we create
Life is a mystery
We need to embrace

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

(Chorus)
People rise together
When they believe in tomorrow
Change the day to forever
This life keeps movin’ (Repeat 2x)

Open your mind and see
We have everything we need
Dream or reality
Fulfill its destiny

In every way
You need to let go
You’ll see all your dreams will follow
In every way
You need to let go

What time of day are you?

I am 3:15 p.m.
You are the moment when the last bell rings and school lets out for the day. You are resistant to schedules and obligations, so you love feeling like you're in control of your life again. You are the very moment when the second hand hits the 12, and the halls fill with noise and motion. Even if your after-school time is packed with activities, lessons, or a job, somehow, you just feel freer in the late afternoon than you do earlier in the day. Maybe it's all that blue sky and afternoon sunshine? Nah -- even on rainy days, 3:15 is always a beautiful time.

20% of the people who took this quiz got the same evaluation.