Secrets Your Spouse Keeps

I watched this video on the Dr. Oz website and thought I would share in summary the 5 secrets men keep from their women.

1. Think about other women during sex (45%).
2. Masturbate weekly in secret (47%).
3. Snooped through partner's emails or phone (41%).
4. Think they're smarter than their wife (56%).
5. Wish wife brought home a bigger pay cheque (27%).

Surprising? Not quite.

True Friends

A true friend scolds like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother & finally loves u more than a lover.

You've Got A Friend

Girls In My Circle

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your Mum.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be..
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 5th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the University years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

If it's nothing why does it hurt?

You and your museum of lovers... The precious collection you've housed in your covers... Wanted and adored by attractive women... Bountiful selection at your discretion... I know I'm diving into my own destruction. My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again... But I still want to wash in your old bathwater!

Bizarre Laws: Miscellaneous Edition

• A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
• No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
• In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
• In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
• In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
• A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
• In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
• A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
• Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
• Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
• During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
• In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
• In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.

Complexities of Love

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.
-- Unknown

Loving Yourself: The Cure

"Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century, it was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure."
--Thomas Szasz

Goodbye Almost Lover...

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never let forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Where Is My Soulmate?

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Realtor offers free divorce with home

HUELVA, Spain - A Spanish real estate company is offering a free divorce lawyer as an incentive to couples who purchase three-bedroom homes in Huelva province. Officials with Geimsa realtors said the deal is aimed at couples who have been postponing divorce because they can't afford new homes, Britain's The Daily Telegraph reported. "A divorce is very expensive," said Vanesa Contioso of Geimsa. "So we are offering new clients the free use of our lawyers to handle the process." The deal applies to married couples who purchase three-bedroom homes for at least $89,000 in Huelva province.

Love Your Neighbour

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
-- Jesus of Nazareth

Stab of Indifference

The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essence of inhumanity.
--George Bernard Shaw

Wanted: The Inexperienced

I used to be one who would totally rule out the idea of being with a younger man. But lately, I don’t think it’s as bad as I made it out to be. I mean, yeh… a younger guy is going to be immature in some ways. But just think of all the things you can teach and influence him to do just because he doesn’t have as much experience. LOL No… I am not being manipulative, but sometimes people with less experience have more opened minds. A friend of mine is with a guy much younger than she is and they are so happy. Maybe this young boy thing should be a point to consider.

Gettin' some...

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

Finding the G-Spot

If a woman's partner wants to find the G-spot, and have some fun during the search, try the Bowling Ball. Hold your dominant hand (right for most people) palm up and curl your thumb and middle two fingers like you were holding a bowling ball. Keep the index and pinkie fingers straight. Curve the middle finger slightly more than the ring finger.
Now, thumb goes on the clit, middle two fingers go in the vagina, and outer two fingers (index and pinkie) massage the labia majora and/or perineum.
Rock your hand back and forth. If you're doing it right, your thumb will be massaging her clit on the forward rock and your middle two fingers will be stroking in her vagina on the backward rock.
As she becomes aroused, the curved tip of your middle finger should be on or near her G-spot and you can feel the difference in texture from the surrounding vaginal wall.
Vary the speed and pressure of the rocking motion until her eyes roll back, her toes curl and she loses the ability to form a coherent sentence.

Sex Complaints

Women complain about sex more than men.
Their gripes fall into two major categories: (1) Not enough. (2) Too much.
Better it be too much than not enough...

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

Over this long weekend I took some time to reflect on my life as it is now. I dwelled a lot on how relationships in life are never perfect. I think the more I say it is the easier it will be for me to accept it. Being a combined perfectionist, idealistic, control freak is a bad way to be…

Last week in the office we were having a discussion about relationships. Coworker-J, who is in her mid forties and is unmarried, lately has found a new love interest and is enjoying life to the max – absolutely glowing. She has always made it known that there are certain absolutely minimum requirements for her to be with a man. He must be taller than she is – and that is no easy feat because she is about 5’10” tall herself, he must be good looking and physically fit (read no big belly) and must be a gentleman with opening doors for her and picking up the tab etc. For a woman of her age she is still very physically attractive so I guess it is not unfounded for her to demand an equally attractive mate.

So, Coworker-D then turned to me to say that I must not give up hope of finding that happiness with someone because even at Coworker-J’s age she still found it. Coworker-J did interject to tell me don’t wait that long because you miss out on a lot. Despite knowing that, why didn’t Coworker-J settle? It’s great to have ideals but at what point does it become pointless to demand so much?

I think I have some bomb inside that is almost at meltdown. I know several persons will say that I am still young and there is no need to rush, yadda yadda… but remember I am the perfectionist, idealistic, control freak? Yeh… what a quandary…

I have my ideals in a mate and lately I have been feeling that those requirements are baseless. Who am I to require “perfection” from someone when I am far from it? My biggest sore point is my weight. I’ve always wanted someone to love me just the way I am – all of me, but that is the first thing people see and judge you by. People are typically disgusted by an obese person. They don’t want to be with someone whose defect they will constantly have to be on guard to defend because that’s just the way people are.

If you took me as a person and put me in a size 6 body I think they would want to be with me, but since I am not attractive then there’s no real motivation. There was one guy who said after he left me that there are so many sexy women out there running him down, why should he stay and put up with my shit in a relationship. There was another guy who faked a relationship with me in hopes that I would lose the weight, and when I didn’t... And one guy didn’t want to take me anywhere to be seen with him. Really, I could go on with examples. And plain and simply… it hurts.

My initial reaction is why do people have to be so superficial, but everyone’s allowed their own ideals – heck even I have some. I’ve even been told that I am picky. *shock* You can see from my examples above that I have made pretty bad selections from my ideals. Perhaps I am overly ambitious in the type of man I want to be with considering that I have so little to give back. I’m always the one to love first and the last one to leave. I must give it to them for appreciating who I am on the inside to a certain extent – most end up still wanting to be friends, but it just goes to show what inherently is really important. Then it hits home that beggars can’t really be choosers.

Easy for you to say just get up and get on a diet and exercise 3 hours daily and lose the weight then if it’s such a problem. I really wish I could get over this hump and get the mindset to do it. I can’t explain it… but it’s almost the same reason someone suffering from depression can’t just will themselves to get up and be happy tomorrow. It just doesn’t work that easily.

There’s Friend-T who is somewhat aware of the struggle I have with my weight and constantly tries to reassure me that I am not as “fat” as I think I am. She’d point out women who are bigger than I am and show me how they’re enjoying life and they even have men too! LOL Maybe I am caught up with my state more than I ought to be and that is the root of the problem? I really don’t know. I just know that it comes up a lot.

My insecurities are in hyper-drive lately. I have to deal with the harsh realities of it all. And these ideals? They’re slipping. I can feel myself settling. I don’t want to hear that I deserve more because every time I go after more it backfires and I am left standing with nothing more than a broken heart and dented self-esteem.

I used to look down on some girls who would throw themselves at guys and in no time end up sleeping with them. I really thought about what their motivation could be to do something like that – giving them the benefit of the doubt that being a slut isn’t the cause but a symptom. I’ve concluded that they’re searching for some comfort in these men, perhaps some attention they didn’t get from their own father or just the feeling that for the moment when they’re in that man’s bed that they’re sated. While we have different symptoms, I can relate to that need of those girls to be wanted.

Hi. I am a 26 year old obese woman and I’m learning to accept that chances are I will be alone for the rest of my life.

What is Love?

"Love is not a feeling, it's an act of your will."
-- Don Francisco

Friends Don't Stifle Friends

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow."
--Alice Walker