True Friends

A true friend scolds like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother & finally loves u more than a lover.

For Coloured Girls

This came from a young lady in St. Lucia. It is long, but worth it.

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth, I guess I kind of imagined a Women’s Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so n so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each other’s biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each other’s faults and nit pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking "they are cute" but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for "talking to darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting to darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like, what has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along. Why is that we fight amongst ourselves, backstab & steal each other’s men(only to find out we should have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich handsome husband etc, this does not mean that you should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a woman who's child father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because I’m the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to you could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend. The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony, But I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save someone's life. PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayer.

I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and that if need be, you are available to listen. Nothing bad is going to happen if you don't forward this e-mail but I'd like to think that something positive will happen if you choose to pass it along. May favor be extended to each and everyone of your lives, keep your head up and know that someone somewhere cares!!!

Daily Struggle...

Girls In My Circle

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your Mum.
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be..
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself .
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 5th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the University years,
A couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbour,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

Cherish

"Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment, of these, if you but remain true to them your world will at last be built."
--James Allen, As A Man Thinketh

Thoughts For Today

1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
2. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.
3. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
4. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
5. Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
6. A penny saved is a government oversight.
7. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
8. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
9. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
10. He who hesitates is probably right.
11. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
12. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
13. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

The Wonders of the Mysterious

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is themysterious. It is the source of all true art and allscience. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, whocan no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
--Albert Einstein

Growing Up

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right,he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."
-- Anonymous

Having Money Helps

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy."
-- Groucho Marx

Life

Life is no straight and easy corridor along
which we travel free and unhampered,
but a maze of passages,
through which we must seek our way,
lost and confused, now and again
checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,
a door will open for us,
not perhaps one that we ourselves
would ever have thought of,
but one that will ultimately
prove good for us.”

A.J. Cronin

Whose Fault Is It...?

The History Of Casual Day

I wish we had a Jeans Day at work... but this certainly explains how management feels.

• Memo No. 1: Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
• Memo No. 2: Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
• Memo No. 3: Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
• Memo No. 4: A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
• Memo No. 5: As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
• Memo No. 6: The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the "home casual" versus "business casual" checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.
• Memo No. 7: Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.

Always Be Her Baby

"Grown don't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart it don't mean a thing."
Toni Morrison (1931-), Nobel Prize-winning American author, editor, and professor.

Love Thy Enemies

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
--Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784)

Mom's Always Right

"My mom had a weekly court and we'd get tickets during the week. On Saturdays, my dad would be the judge and mom would be the prosecutor. We could state our case, but she was like MATLOCK - she always won!"
--MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE dad BRYAN CRANSTON recalls his own childhood.

Stupidity Knows No Bounds

"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
-- Elbert Hubbard

Children Do As You Do

Remember that children rely more on example than advice.
-- Anonymous

Someday We'll Meet Again

"Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on earth is only the beginning."
-- Mitch Albom (1958-Present), American best-selling author, journalist, screenwriter, playwright, radio and television broadcaster and musician.

Aim Higher Than The Stars

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.”
-- Les Brown

Remove the Plank from Your Eye‏

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."
--Matthew 7:1-5

"Don't be a fault-finding grouch; when you feel like finding fault with somebody or something, stop for a moment and think; there is apt to be something wrong within yourself."
-- J. J. Reynolds